Livin on the Moon

What a week.... There`s too much to say... Y Tengo Flojera to write yal errything that happened, Entonces Pucha po... Cachai....

I could name this week, week of miracles. Small miracles. Big miracles. It's all the same for me. It's just another brick added to my testimony... Brick? I don`t know why I used brick as an analogy but I guess it works... jajaj. My testimony grows day after day of this work, of this gospel, of my family, of my future... Words can`t explain it. 

Alejandra Ortiz. One of my most favorite families here in the sector of Las Arenas. She has the heart the size of my mom`s heart. Thee most thoughtful, loving, unselfish person to us missionaries. She has been meeting with missionaries for exactly 1 year. She is convive (Living with her Partner) and he is still technically married (very very common here in Chile) His Wife-Ex Wife-Confusing situation hasn`t wanted to sign the divorce papers, so he was needing to pay a giant fee of like 6 Millones de Pesos (About 12,000 Dollars) which obviously he couldn`t in order for him to get divorced and then Get married to Alejandra and then Alejandra could get baptized.... She is converted. Comes to church every week, (except for the weeks she gets lazy and sleeps but that's okay I don`t blame her too much) She was a huge believing evangelica (I don`t know what that is in English). But now adores the missionaries for what they have taught her. I'm just another missionary who was blessed to get to know such a prepared person. Juan (her partner) has a little trouble with smoking, As an inactive member for many years, he has the will to come back, we have been joking around of when he will stop smoking every time we go over, I hide his cigarettes and stuff like that. This past week, Juan received a call from him Wife-Exwife asking him why they don`t just get divorced already.... Tears came into his eyes when he told us this, He said thee most spiritual prayer, Thanking God for the Miracle to Soften the Heart of his Ex Wife... Alejandra is now soooo excited to finally after 13 years of Living together, Get married with Juan, they have a 16 year old son, Fabian who is a stud, Recent Convert and a 5 year old, Patty. The Day we went over for them to tell us the great news, Juan Handed over his last pack of cigarettes to me and I handed him the rest of my sunflower seeds, Thee greatest switch I could have ever made. He committed to never smoke again and prepare so he can baptize his wife in the upcoming months. A miracle. I love that family. I will never forget that night! The sunflower seeds have helped him these past few days and now has 3 days without smoking and the urge to smoke hasn`t been too strong. I love them. and I love our father in heaven for making all that happen. Softening the heart of the Ex Wife. 

Dayanna said the opening prayer in sacrament meeting. I was a proud missionary that day. So spiritual and ready.

I have become a professional at receiving personal revelation 5 minutes before I have to give a talk in sacrament meeting because one of the people didn`t show up who was prepared to speak... I love that about the mission. I could talk about this gospel for days. I spoke about all of you guys :) I love my family and the examples I have. People like hearing I have 12 Siblings, even though not all are blood, I still tell people I have 12 Siblings haha. 

We saw another great miracle, (Sorry I'm running out of time, I won`t be able to tell you everything) Lets just say, offering service and helping build an addition to a new families house was able to soften their hearts to come to church, and the Dad asking us, When Can I Get Baptized? Such an awesome family. He has to get divorced and married as well... Go figure. But It was awesome to see that family of 3 come to church with us. And P.S. I'm a baller constructor. I have a good future in Construction ;) 

Today we hiked up the highest mountain here in Antofagasta. Overlooking the whole city. I literally live on the moon. Thee driest desert in the world. But it's so gorgeous! I love Antofagasta. 

That's all the time I got Family. I'm happy. Cambios this upcoming week, They call us on Saturday, so we will see what happens. I have 6 months in my sector so its possible que me voy.

Love yal with all my heart. Mom you are an angel.

Elder Paxman

 

 

Dayanna's Baptism

The baptism went great.. After a little drama that is better left un said, Abraham baptized his girlfriend Dayanna. Abraham is a total stud, preparing for the mission and has changed completely these past few months was able to have the opportunity that not a lot of people have, to baptize his girlfriend. The baptism was very spiritual and the whole family of Dayanna Jaime was able to come. Literally everyone. The Sacrament room was full of Non members. Dayanna bore a strong testimony where tears fell testifying of how she knows her family as well will accept this message. The Mom and Dad will come around so that her other siblings will be able to be baptized. The parents are the key, the baptismal service was great, zero distractions. I was a proud missionary that day. Dayanna had asked me to give her the Holy Ghost on Sunday. I will never get old of feeling the power of giving someone such a marvelous gift.... I have so much love for her family, Its hard for me to express. Great Weekend. 

Daily we are finding more and more and really trying to pick out the Elect and prepared. Chile is a great place to Find people to teach, The People are very loving. At times. Its just all about being able to discern who really wants to progress or will Progress. 

The Sector is getting better, We have a few more families that are showing more interest and Are committed to coming to church in these next few days. Our Companionship goals for the Cambio are in the process of being completed. We are working very hard to complete them. 2 Baptisms in the zone was great this week but The zone showed really low Lessons with Members lessons. It just seems like They like taking the easy way, Which is the Other Lessons without finding an Hermanador. We now have our 4 Families that are showing the most potential with Their Hermanadores and their plan to conversion. The Other families we have we have in mind and our Following your guidance and praying who could be their Hermanadores, so soon every Investigator that we have will have that plan of conversion. Its working well, but will only get better. 

For the past few weeks we have been planning a Family History Class, We have an Hermana in charge of the Family History in our ward, We set a date and a time where she could come to the church, we had a bunch of Tables set up Where the members-Non members would bring their Laptops (If they had one, If not we had a table set up with the Computer of a member of the church) And the Hermana would go around and First help them fill our their ¨Mi Familia¨ Folleto and after help them set up their account on FamilySearch. The planning was great, the Bishop announced it the week before, we reminded all the members throughout the week and were doing Contacts with cualquier gente for them to get to know more of their antepasados. All of our Investigators as well. The time came for the Activity and Lamentablemente No one showed up til about 30 Minutos then slowly about 45 minutos there was only 4 people.... We were a little sad and upset that no one came, but the Hermana was helping those who came, 2 Jovenes Recent Converts and 2 Investigators. At about 8:00 p.m Elder Boullangguer and I decided to go outside and do some street contacts while the other Elders Helped inside with the class and those who wanted to know more. After a few Rejections of Inviting people in to our Activity Someone agreed to come in and see. Al Tiro we left out side of the church again, And saw the Lord bless us with our Faith of Jumping out of the Boat and another person coming home from work decided he would love to take part in the Activity for a few minutes. Although it was very basic what We decided to do in a moment of Saddness after very little people coming to our Activity, we were able to see the Lord Bless us in helping 2 New People, That we wouldn't have meet if we would have trudged around the church all sad, get to know the church and FamilySearch. Tender Mercy. Although there was only 8 Or so People in the whole Activity, I call it a success from the Testimony I received In not ever giving up, and those 8 People Really enjoyed the Class. Cool Experience.

As we were walking in the streets yesterday after a Giant Classic Soccer game from La U and Colo Colo, 2 Chilean Soccer teams, I once again realized how much Chileans love soccer. Colo Colo and La U is like The Yankees vs. Red Sox except Times is by 300... Many Beer Bottles were dodged on our interesting journey back to the Apartment... Don´t worry Im protected. We hurried home after the game. 

I had the amazing priveledge (Privaledge , Privelege ... You know what I mean) to read the talk from Lawerence E. Corbridge, The Fourth Missionary. Famous amongst all missionaries and its my 6th or so time reading it. This time reading it, a few lines really hit me.. Im at the point where I can´t not be the 4th Missionary... and to be 100% honest I still fell like a 3rd missionary at times... It kills me to say that, But I will have to make some changes to become where I know is possible to become. That's the point of life, A quote i loved from Lawerence E. Corbridge was 

´´To Believe that weakness and Dificiencies in your character are unchangeable is to reject the central truth of the plan of Salvation´´ 

Im getting there. I'm on my way. I'm not there yet but I know I will get there. I honestly feel and admire the prayers I receive. Every single small one of them. 

That's what we are asking in every house we enter.. A change in them... Whether it be a change in the Word of Wisdom, Law of Chastity, or even saying a prayer when you wake up in the morning. We preach the Plan of Salvation, We preach change and Repentance and Faith. I love nothing more than to see change. This past week, I was able to see a change in an Investigator who we have been teaching for 5 months... A change for the good, Baptism is around the corner for her... She´s just in a rough situation with her Partner that doesnt want to get married. But Change is good. The Church is all about Change... Think about what you need to do to change. I love you all so much

Con mucho Amor 

Elder Paxman Tomen Suerte

Antofagasta

Como Estay!!!!!!!!! Familia espero que todo este bien allá en Gringolandia (America, Chilean Style). 

Well I feel like it should be known to all that I received my first Email from a woman other than my mom, sister, or Grandma in over a year... I am taken off guard.... ¿what do I do?.... Jk I still got it ;) #AintNoHollerBackGirl 

The baptism will be going down this week. Its been a long wait but I will give you more of the details next week on how it all went. I'm so ready to see a baptism... This mission is hard when they don´t come like you want them to. But The Lord knows more than I do so I should just shut my mouth. Day in and day out I gain a stronger testimony that this is HIS work... I will remember these experiences the rest of my life. 

Today I got burnt... That's not a good sign... That means that summer is just around the corner... I remember last summer in Tierra Amarilla.... Not a fun time here in the Atacama Desert, hottest desert in the world... Pray for my Gringo skin please... Sun block will be applied multiple times a day.... #AntofagastaOZoneLayerThatDoesn´tExist

I'm the most blessed person in the world. I ask daily Why me? In everything I see go down here in the North of Antofagasta.... It gets ugly... I will spare the details for the sake of my worried mother... Let's just say the Lord protects missionaries. Keep praying for me and these people. Their living situation gets me every time I walk into a new house. I love these Chilean people and the Columbians, Peruvians, and Bolivians that are here in Antofagasta. Misión Chile Antofalumbia #ColumbianSwag 

We had some really solid Lessons this past week. We were able to enter lots of houses. Find some New Investigators, Challenge some people to get baptized, get rejected at times (But that's okay), and really just help people repent of what they are doing in their lives. It's amazing amazing amazing to go out of a lesson with a 60 year old couple that just committed to stop drinking tea and coffee for a week to see how they feel.... People get touched by the spirit and actually accept to follow Jesus Christ. I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE. Thee best part of the mission. I love completing my purpose to invite others to come unto Christ I love seeing the repentance process work in these investigators. It's truly the Lord's work. 

God is giving me the trials to learn and become better. I love these trials and receiving the strength to overcome them. I am so blessed. I like my comp, he´s a cool guy. He likes to itch himself but I just laugh and we have a good time. We are working good together. I was able to do some intercambios with some stud missionaries, one who recently got here less than 2 weeks ago. Poor kid. I remember those struggling times. But we had a great talk and we got each other animated to become better and put more of an effort here in the mission. Intercambios are thee best. An Elder just got to my zone that signed at Salt Lake Community College for Baseball and is looking to play at The U... We became instant Best Friends. He´s like 6 foot 7 and throws 92 MPH. We had our fun talking about baseball... Oh the good times. 

I'm focused. We are overcoming some big big challenges with some of our investigators and problems with the Ward Leadership... That's never fun... but the investigators will come around soon. We are hoping and praying for some more prepared people in these next few days to appear in our path. I'm happy and working hard to the end. This is the best time of my mission. 

Les Amo Caleta 

Elder Paxman

pics. 

The 50 dollar Chilean Sweats I bought (Deff worth it)

Elder Francis. Newbie in the mission 

 

 

Spiritual High

Wow.... I haven´t wept like this in my whole time here... Hearing about Chase running the marathon and what he went through, the support my amazing familia gave to him, and his determination really just hit me... 3 different times reading it hahaha. I can´t express my love and how proud I am to have a brother who is a straight G. I have watched the video you sent me of you finishing more than 7 times and I cry even more every time I watch it.... I'm weird I know. I'm a missionary so its okay... #SwaggyMissionaryAwkwardCrying My companion probably thinks my family died or something. I should probably tell him or something..  HE PUT THE TEAM ON HIS BACK. I love my big brother. Role model.

I would like to start this email to my close friends and great family members expressing the love I have for my Savior. I believe in prophets, seers, and revelators more than I have in my entire life. This last special Conferencia General as a missionary spoke to me, The 10 hours sitting in the Gringo room with my fellow Soldiars was thee most rewarding, uplifting, spirit filling, junk food eating, testimony cemented experience. I love this church. I believe in revelation. Many South America inhabitants and other parts of the world look at the church as a North American church, Una Iglesia Gringa, as the people here always say. Being able to hear 4 different talks in different languages (2 in Spanish Holler) was straight revelation to the prophet and the QOT12 Apostles. Too many talks to write about but I do invite all of you to go re listen- re read. These inspired men and women give us what we need to endure these next 6 months in this world that is being overtaken by the adversary. Something that Tad R. Callister taught me was that I need to start praying for my future wife ;) The Priesthood Session, President Eyring made me think about my Compañero Hno. Mark Draper who did just that, Take care of the Aaronic Priesthood. Being a Home teacher I don´t remember a month not visiting my families with him... It didn´t hit me til Saturday the revelation the Bishop received putting such a strong worthy priesthood holder with such a weak, on the edge Aaronic Priesthood holder... Thank you Mark Draper for helping me complete my Priesthood responsibilities. 

At the Start of the week I was privileged to be able to go to the Leadership Council to hear how the mission can apply the Saviors tools in our daily work to reach our goal of baptizing 240 monthly... I love those meetings with all my heart.. Our President, President Dalton is a servant of the Lord who has all the confidence in us... Even when some of us show a lack of that. He receives direct revelation. The Mission is on the right path with him behind the wheel steering us in the right direction. I love my President so much. I also love the Leadership Councils because I am blessed to see some of my best friends in the mission that I can only see once a month. My 2 best friends in the mission and in my life Elder Sargent along with Elder Mangum #GoUtes make my life so much more enjoyable. I am so blessed. 

The Familia Jaime is Mas o menos no mas.... The 2 daughters Barbara and Dayana are doing so great they both were able to attend Conferencia General and loved it. They will be getting baptized on the 18th of October. The Mom is going to be a little more work and without the mom, the 2 younger ones will not be baptized due to a high rate of inactivation without a parent. So we will wait and pray. The Mom is sooo good but is just nervous. We will give it our all with her. COME ON ALEJANDRA. Hector Figuroa didn´t miss any of the Conference either... He´s ready... We find out about his last divorce paper tonight. Divorce takes soooooo long here. 

I bought these sick new Chilean Fútbol Sweats for 50 Bucks today #YOLO I love Chile. I have no complaints about the people, food, culture, nothing.... absolutely nothing... except for the divorce process ;)

No regrets like my Boy Elder Mangum encouraged me this past week in a note that will be with me til the day I die. No regrets. My ex companion Elder Rogers is doing so good right now... Soo good... I love him. 

Elder Mason C. Paxman

Pics. 

Mision Chile Antofagasta (MCA)

My Group at Leadership Council (Sorry its a bit blurry)

 

 

La Portada Antofagasta

I shed a few tears hearing that I wasn´t able to see the last game of my hero, Derek Jeter.... A walk off single.... wow.... That hurts...

Hermana Alejandra, the mother of the familia Jaime, CAME TO CHURH. I love seeing the faces of the people on their first time in church. The daughter Dayana is being baptized on the 18th and we hope that it will be a white night along with the whole family. The boyfriend of Dayana bore such a powerful, indescribable, spirit filled Testimony that hit the whole family, especially the mom. I wish you all could be in these lessons... It's impossible not to feel the Lord in there with us. This is His work... Wow.... Obviously it hit the mom hard enough that she was able to come to church and I know she loved that as well. Pray for the Familia Jaime, 5 Souls that need to be saved!!! 

Hector Figueroa recieved the information that his divorce papers are progressing... The system here in Chile is soooooo slow, a few years ago here in Chile it was illegal to get divorced so at least its not to that extent right now... but still, he is hoping by the end of October he will be able to have his papers ready and the marraige and the Baptism will come AL TIRO (At once). He really is a trooper, being a missionary, reading the Book of Mormon for the 2nd time, Prepared!

We had some really spiritual lessons this past week, we are finding finding finding, we have a few Investigators who know the Book Of mormon is true and that José Smith was a Prophet but for x reason they just don´t want to come to church... we have tried everything with them. My soul hurts for them. One of our Investigators Regaló (Help?)  me a 120 Painting that his Brother in Law painted... He wouldn´t accept a No for an Answer... So wow that was cool. Its amazing to find those people with the heart that just explodes with Love for the people that Preach about Jesucristo... So.... ummm. who wants a dope Painting?

We were more than privelaged this past week to have our Conferencia De Zona. All of the Missionaries in Antofagasta (about 50 of us) Got together to hear President Dalton teach us the revelations from God he recieves on the daily. He is a genius and is a servent of the Lord. MISSIONARY WORK FOR THE MEMBERS IS EASY!!!!!!!! All it is, is finding a way that the missionaries and your non member friends/family are in the same place at the same time as the missionaries.... thats it.... nothing more..... How easy is it to be a member missionary!!!!!!!!!! In an environment that is very natural without the members even saying anything the non members ask us who we are... Innevotable (that is spelled completely wrong) that they don´t say something and thats when we explain and politely ask if they would like us to pass by their house.... It works.... We have put it into action this past week and it truely works!  Now for you people at home... Go make it happen.... Its so easy and it doesnt damage the relationship you have with your friends.... We learned a ton of other things that we are applying and that work.... I love Revelation... especially seeing the work advance. 

The New Zone La Portada is amazing we have such amazing stud missionaries. I love being able to see my Son Elder Malan every Tuesday. Such a good kid, he makes me proud. I love the missionaries so much. My New Companion is a funny kid. He is a convert of 5 years and is a spiritual giant. He is a chubby Chilean, we get along pretty well. I'm just always tranquilo (Calm?)  Nothing to complain about. Working hard on the daily grind. 

I'm on my Spiritual/Temporal high right now. I'm leaving nothing behind in these next few months I have left. I'm getting spiritually sexy as well as my body.. T.M.I? My study journal has been pretty empty my whole mission but that is something I have been ripping up these past few days. I'm writing down any spiritual revelation I recieve in my Study Journal... I love my Study Journal... You all should make one.. It helps 140% better. I'm on a spiritual high and I have also gained 8 pounds in the past month and a half;) I spent 65$ on food last week... Don´t judge me... GET SWOLL!!! I'm happy... I will be even more happy when I see the Familia Jaime and Hector Get baptised!!! I miss Yal Caleta (A boat Load). Thank the Lord for your trials.

Les Amo muchísimo 

Elder Paxman

 

 

I can´t write too much. We were in Tur Bus all day making sure all the missionaries left and got here without a problem. Like always there are always problems and we/I had to fix all of them. Our mission is special due to the fact of how big it is. It is the biggest mission (land wise) in all of Chile. And Chile is the longest Country in the world, so you can imagine. It takes about 24 hours in bus to get from the bottom of the mission to the top. There are about 9 major cities that everyone knows that are in our mission. Cambio times are INSANE because of all the missionaries coming and going from any part of the mission. Very complicated process especially cause all of the missionaries usually carry 2 or 3 Suitcases and Tur Bus literally hates us for that and yells at us every time we travel... It's a pain, but someones gotta do it.

I am staying here in Antofagasta for my 4th cambio. My companion Elder Antonio is going up to Arica to be with Elder Mangum haha. It was a very surprising cambio because I have more time here in the ward but President felt like I am needed for more time here. It's funny how the Lord works. My New Companion is Elder Mendéz, My first Chilean Comp. I am super excited for this. I am with him right now and I'm just excited to work calmly now. He seems like a cool guy. He is from the South of Chile. I can´t remember the city but its close to Talca. He has about 1 year in the mission and this is his first time as a Zone Leader. I'm excited to teach, and work with him. We have so much potential here in our sector. 

This past week was a tough one... After battling and fighting for these past 4 months, The Chilean, The old comp of Elder Sargent, decided to go home. We spent night after night, talking to him, Trying to let him think it out. The week consisted of us trying to help him, calls from his mom, Stake President, and Bishop down in Santiago... We had so many spiritual moments, rough moments. This past week seemed like it lasted an eternity... One of the worst feelings was seeing someone pack his bags to go home early.. Can´t explain much more. Hard week. 

The Missionary work this week basically didn´t exist... It was impossible to get into houses all week long was party, after party, Asado after Asado, drunk person after drunk person. So during the 18 we had to just stay in the house of a member who taught us how to make Empenadas, gave us mote con Huesillo, and we ate LOOOOOOTS of Meat hahaha. One of the best days eating all the Chilean meals. We then came to our mamitas house to find another Asado waiting for us with more meat. I was able to eat rabbit for the first time in my life and have to say it was theee greatest meat I have ever tasted in my life. A peruvian Elder that I live with tells me its very similar to the meat of a Cat... He eats Cat hahah... I have a huge desire now to try Cat.... I loved Rabbit... (That's what the picture is below). 

Sorry I don´t have much time. Up and down week with not a lot of missionary work because of all the Chileans enjoying their week long Independence. I am excited for the challenge that's on it's way. All the Elders that heard who my new comp was told me ´´Good Luck´´. I have learned to not care what others say. I have a new vision and am excited for this opportunity to love and serve along with Elder Mendez. 

Elder Paxman

 

Chile

I have officially caught the Chilean Fever.... The month of September is a month like no other here in Chile, even with all of the Peruvians, Bolivians, and Colombians here in the north of Chile the Chileans are showing their country pride. The 18th of September is their Independence Day but they take it to another level and party all September long with Asados (Barbeques) Dancing Cueca (Chilean National Dance, Google it) and the kids and even the parents playing with their Trompos (Chilean Game, played at this time of the year, Google it as well). I'm officially addicted to playing Trompos. So much fun to do tricks and stuff. I`ll bring a few back so we can all play together. Also during this time of the year, what little Chilean food exists, we eat it, some of that includes Empanads de Pino, Sopaipilla, Cazuela, Choripan,  Pastel de Choclo, Mote con Huesillo, and Completos. (You can google all those to see what they look like) I have been enjoying eating all of that lately. Gotta love Chile #VamosChile

We had the privilege to play some soccer today. The youth in our ward are on vacations for the week, so we took advantage and played some good competition in some Fùtbol. 

This past week was a little rough getting into the houses with all the people going crazy with their Asados and flags and drinking and stuff like that.. Normal Chilean stuff. But we had some amazing lessons with investigators and also menos activos. Our investigator, Hector Figuroa, who has been waiting patiently for his divorce papers to come through finished the Book of Mormon this past week... He is converted 100%. We are still just waiting on his papers so he can get married, get in the water, and receive his calling as our new Bishop. I love Hector. Our recent convert did it again, blessing the sacrament for the 2nd time. He looked to good up there standing next to a 17 year old priest and him being 67.. Something special I`ll tell you that... A special man. The Familia Jaime is doing alright. Dayana (16 Years old) and Hugo (10 years old) are amazing, they come all by themselves, without us even reminding them. Last week thinking the family was at a scout trip, Hugo came and surprised us staying all 3 hours all by himself. They are special people.. They make my day happy. We put a Date for them for the 18th of October to be baptized for one last push for the mom and the other 2 sisters to show some desire to come to church  and achieve the commitments we leave them. If the mom doesn't get baptized we won`t baptize Hugo because as time goes on and his sisters get married and move out, he won`t have the support. The mom is necessary. Dayana is prepared and her boyfriend (19 years old) who is preparing for his mission is going to baptize her. She is the catalyst of the family, such a good example. Pray for the mom and the 2 sisters of Hugo and Dayana. They are our family that is progressing the most. We have a stock of about 17 different families that we are teaching, they all just don`t seem to like waking up to come to church.... It's something I have seen my whole mission that it's sooo difficult for me to get the people to church. But we aren`t nervous, we will continue finding finding finding, the more we find, the more people like Hector, Victor, Dayana and Hugo we will find. 

Everyone enjoy your 18th of September with a little barbeque of your own. Join in on the spirit of Chile. 

I find out cambios this Saturday. I am up in the air with what might happen. Stay tuned. I'm excited to see where and with who the Lord needs me for these upcoming 6 weeks. 

I have been studying a lot in 3rd Nephi this past week. I love El Libro De Mormon. Do your family night, family-personal scripture study, and family-personal prayer. The Lord asks very little of us compared to what he asked his son to do.

 

Les quiero muchísimo 

Elder Paxman

 

 I made my comp French Toast this week, he loved it hahah Silly Latins trying American food, gotta love it. He made me Breakfast as well. The thing with the Guacamole sauce on it is a Sopaipilla.

 The dog we always pass by that we named Marta because it looks like the dog from the show Martha speaks, she was sleeping.

 Chilean Atardecer (Sunset)

The trophy is the trophy for the Libertador, a huuuuge tournement of all the South American soccer teams that a team here in Chile won. The Team is called Colo Colo, booo it's my rival ;)